Hello my lovelies, welcome back to itsjustabbsxo!
I don’t know about you but I think one of my biggest hates as of the last couple of years, has been clothes shopping. I recently went to the shops and just found it so stressful and it made me feel so anxious and overwhelmed. It got me thinking, how many women out there struggle with shopping too, especially when you have an issue with your body image.
Today’s society has not made it easy on us, we are constantly being shown pictures of slim models on runways that barely eat 1000 calories a day; it is making us compare ourselves to these. Now, don’t get me wrong, these women are beautiful however, is this something we should aspire too? Is this something we should aim to get too? Even if it ends up making us hate our bodies and creating an unhealthy relationship with food?
I think one of the biggest struggles I have with shopping is the bloody clothing sizes; we get so obsessed by the number we see on our tags that its all we end up thinking about. I know that when I go shopping and I have to pick up my size, I always feel embarrassed and want to hide the tags. I need to recognise that this isn’t healthy and it has been seriously affecting the way I see myself. I decided to turn to twitter to see if anyone else has the same sort of struggles as I do and I was amazed by the results. I put out a series of polls and had them run for 24 hours; here’s the results!
- Do you find shopping generally affects your mental health? Yes: 71% , No: 29%
- Have you noticed that you are majorly different clothing sizes within different shops? Yes: 93.1% , Not Really: 6.9%
- Do you think society has affected the way you dress? Yes: 50% , No: 34.6%
- Do you get upset / disheartened when you don’t fit into a certain clothing? Yes: 88% , No: 12%
- Do you think todays society has majorly affected the way you see yourself? F*ck Yes: 65.4% , Not at all: 3.8% , Kinda: 30.8%
- Do you feel stressed / anxious when it comes to shopping for clothes? Yup: 73.1% , Nah: 26.9%
- Do you find shopping enjoyable? Love it!!: 37.5% , Hate it!: 33.3% , Doesn’t bother me: 29.2%
- Finally, do you think you would have a more positive outlook on shopping if body image wasn’t so important? YeS!!!: 60% , I don’t know: 40% , No…: 0%
This to me was so eye opening; 71% of answers said that shopping affects their mental health… that is such a high percentage! The same as 88% saying that when a certain clothing item doesn’t fit, they get disheartened and upset. I know I have had several breakdowns after a large online shop has been delivered and 99% of the items have to be returned. It left me feeling so upset and tbh I hated my body. But where does this all stem from? I personally know I am constantly comparing myself to models and those super skinny fit girls on instagram wishing I could look like them; but my point is, why do we think this way? Why can’t we be happy and confident in our size 16’s / 18’s / 20’s etc?
What helps me when I feel shit about myself?
I have recently started to try to become confident and love myself for the way I am. there have been a few things that have really helped me! For starters, the amazing Alexandria; if you dont follow her on instagram you are missing out. She is all about promoting body positivity as a mid size girl from the North! She uploads so many videos and pictures that just send out so many good vibes; she promotes how to be happy in the body you have and how to love yourself; how to feel confident in what you want to wear. Her videos inspired this post and have helped allow me to understand that my body has been through a lot; it has taken me on a journey and instead of hating it, I need to start loving who I am. I need to be myself, not a copy cat of someone on the internet! Check out her socials:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexandriakay_/
- Twitter: @alexkaywritess
- Blog: https://alexandriakaywrites.wordpress.com
As well as following Alex, I have also been noticing more and more body positivity videos on TikTok; now, I dunno about any of you but I have been OBSESSED with TikTok and can easily spend hours in the same position just watching videos! It is probably super unhealthy but hey ho I love it and it brings me joy. A few of my favourites to watch that talk about body positivity and enjoying your body the way it is, embracing who you are and the skin your in are:
- @xobrooklynne – my absolute favourite!
Where do we start?
Ok great, we have the understanding that society has made it impossible for women to love themselves the way they are. But how can we change this? Well, to start with, we can normalise stretch marks, cellulite, birth marks, body hair, hip dips, ‘lumps and bumps’. By normalising these small things that EVERYONE has, we can start to accept ourselves the way we are!
We all look in a mirror at some point during the day; this can be such a negative experience because many of us don’t like what we see. Stop listening to those negative thoughts; look at yourself and tell yourself that you are beautiful, worthy and say I love you. It may sound silly but do it. You will get such a fantastic outcome and soon those negative thoughts won’t be there anymore. Self-talk has been proven to work. Put some notes up on your mirror, start your day by reading those positive and loving reminders. Waking up to a kind and loving message to yourself can improve the relationship you have with yourself in such a positive way.https://bit.ly/3bVzsdT
As well as this, we can do the following;
- Stop comparing ourselves to those we see online
- Stop caring what other people think of us; this can be so much easier said than done but once we stop caring about other peoples opinions, we realise that we will never make everyone happy, we will never please everyone, what matters is the way we view ourselves. If we are happy with the way we are, that’s all that matters.
- Remember that the number on the scales is not the be all and end all
- Put your feelings before every one else; this ties in with number two but it is just as important
- Take time out to look after your body, listen to its needs and allow yourself time
- Embrace the body you have, accept it and run with it!
- Do things for yourself, don’t do it for anyone else, just yourself
- Find something that makes you happy, it could be a t-shirt, a pair of shoes; wear them, feel confident and empower yourself!
By practicing these small steps, we can allow ourselves to feel happy and confident. Everyone is beautiful; your body has been through a lot and it is taking you on a journey through life. Love the skin you are in and find beauty in everything you see. Once you start focusing on happiness, there will be no time for hatred and self-doubt.
What are you taking away from this post?
I for one am going to start believing that I am enough, I am beautiful and I am capable of amazing things. As are you! We just have to start believing in ourselves and stop looking at the things that bring us down. No more comparisons, just acceptance. I truly hope that together, we can change society’s views and allow everyone to feel beautiful and accepted.
until next time, abbs xo
Images all found through Google: https://www.google.com/search?q=body+positivity+images&client=safari&rls=en&sxsrf=ALeKk00u5WVIAjN0WgLGrdyMXS7DlCCw8A:1600083876336&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=vmw7wIi_UDhcKM%252CD61D_uJW4ktNTM%252C_&vet=1&usg=AI4_-kQBBLsPqw2V1JeoQR9mvvLlwydsaw&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiZ67z4yOjrAhXMX8AKHUjCBkYQ9QF6BAgKEE8&biw=1355&bih=703#imgrc=_WEYZJf-Wl8ppM