Hello, my loves and welcome back to itsjustabbsxo!
It has been a while since I put up a post, around a month. That may not seem like that long for some, but to me that is a really long time to not write. I haven’t actually written any posts since my last one went up, no drafts, nothing. I have missed writing so much however, I just haven’t had the motivation or the want to write. I think it’s mostly because things have been going south at work, I haven’t been feeling happy at all and it’s putting a huge downer on my social life.
In all seriousness, I genuinely love my job – I love the team I work with and I loved that I was getting involved more and being given more independence. However, that has recently changed; I don’t have the same enthusiasm for my job anymore and I’m in a mindset where I genuinely don’t care about it. This has all happened because of one person – how does one person have that much effect on your whole being? Why does that one person get to control how you feel and act in your job? It just doesn’t make sense and to be completely honest, it just isn’t fair. I am usually a very open person and if I don’t like someone, they tend to know that, but with this person, I just can’t stand up for myself. I feel so small and weak when she talks to me, I feel like a piece of dirt on the bottom of her shoe and I just keep letting her walk all over me.
I get upset about it pretty much every day and it’s just making me angry now. I shouldn’t have to feel like this just because of a job. It really is not worth it. Since all of this has been going on, it has got me thinking about my life and my future… I have never been that person that knows exactly what I want to do, I have never really had a plan. I’m like a floater, just floating around waiting to see what happens and what comes up. It isn’t the way I want it to be; I need to make a change.
Thinking about my future usually gives me a huge anxiety knot in my stomach that I can’t shift, this will then make me feel angry because it’s out of my control and there’s nothing I can do about it. Everyone knows that dreaded question ‘Where do you see yourself in 5 / 10 years?’, this question leaves me in a tiny ball under a desk because I just can’t see that far ahead – how am I supposed to know what the future holds? I don’t have a magic ball that reveals my future for me. I just don’t know. That was always my answer. Always. But, lying in bed, staring at the dark ceiling I thought to myself, seriously Abbie, where do you want to be in 5 years? My answer? A freelance full-time blogger. That is what I picture myself doing in 5, 10, 15 years’ time… and that is my goal. Now I know it isn’t going to be easy and it’s not going to happen straight away, if I really want this, I am going to have to dedicate my everything into it; I have just never felt so sure about anything before.
When I’m writing, that’s when I feel happy and free. Creating content and letting my inner creativeness roam free on the screen just unleashes this happiness from inside me. I want to be happy and content all the time. When thinking about being a full-time blogger, I thought about what I want to write about as well. I have been using my blog as a way of communicating my love for all things makeup and lifestyle; more recently I have found myself diving into the fashion community, seeing basic items being revamped and turned into an amazing outfit, that is what I want to do. As well as this, I have always loved reading – ever since I was young I loved reading books or making stories up myself. Therefore, there will also be a section on this blog dedicated to book reviews!
So, with all of that being said, welcome to the new itsjustabbsxo – a revamped website and a now owned domain. I was never completely happy with how my website looked, it just seemed so boring to look at ; meh. Now, I am in love with the design, the layout and the fonts. It just feels so much more me. What do you think of my new site; a fashion, lifestyle, beauty and book blog! Wow that’s a mouthful I know!
From now on I am dedicating more time into my blog, spending more time writing posts and shooting photographs for my posts and for Instagram. I have created an upload schedule and have organised everything in such a way that I have posts planned for the next three months! I can’t wait to start sharing all my posts and publishing them to my beautiful new website.
I think that about sums everything up… I am sorry for not posting and for being super quiet recently, you can expect a lot more from me now! Whilst you’re waiting for my next post, check out my other social platforms: