Let’s end the year explaining what has happened in 2018. To be completely truthful, 2018 has been one of my worst years. So why not share all of that online hey!
So much has happened, so much heartache, confusion and loss. To start of the year, my boyfriend was in and out of hospital with a collapsed lung – he ended up having keyhole surgery and he is now fully recovered.
I don’t think I have ever felt so scared and worried in my life, it was such a roller-coaster. One minute we would be texting as he was shopping and then I wouldn’t hear from him for hours, when I eventually get hold of his mum she tells me he was rushed to hospital as he couldn’t breathe. When you hear something like that your heart just sinks, your brain goes into overload and everything goes silent. But I am so glad he is back to his normal self.
Part way through the year I felt so confused with my job, I didn’t really have any work on and so was actively looking for something new. I went for many interviews and landed myself an offer to join an estate agents. I accepted and handed my notice in. but I didn’t feel relieved, I didn’t feel excited, I felt as though I had made a mistake.
I pushed aside these feelings and tried to find the positives. Sure it’s a little bit more money but that extra money is going to be spent on petrol, is that really worth it? Do I really want to do this? What if I am wasting their time? What if I hate it? All these questions going round and round in my head and I felt as though I couldn’t tell anyone. I had definitely made the wrong decision.
I spoke with my HR manager and just burst into tears as soon as I entered her office – she just sat and listened. She spoke to the board and they all said I could stay – the relief I felt hearing this is something I will never forget. It was like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was so unbelievably happy.
Then rolls around August; this was by far the worst month. We had a beautiful boxer dog, his name was Bertie. He was my best friend, I loved him more than I thought was possible – he was always so happy to see everyone, he was such a nosey and curious dog. Always ready for cuddles, begging for attention 9.5 times out of 10 – but that was why I loved him so much. He was with our family for ten years, that’s a long time and for ten years he was as loyal as anyone could ever wish for. He completed our family. We had to say goodbye Monday 13th August. I miss him more than words could ever tell you. He is always with us, in spirit. I wish I could spend one more day with him, one more dog walk and mostly just one more cuddle.
Yeah this blog post seems to be on a pretty down note. Lets talk about something positive that happened this year. Well of course, I started my blog! I have been wanting to start a blog for as long as I can remember.
I was sat at work one day and said to myself ‘Abbie when you get home you are going to set up a blog and write your first post’ and that’s exactly what I did. And from that day, I started writing my first post in a notebook, I started an Instagram and twitter and that’s where it all began. I am enjoying blogging so much, it is definitely a slow burner but one day it will get to where I envision it to be and I won’t believe it!
I think everyone has those years where everything just seems like its too much. You have the feeling that you just want to pack up your things and go. But you have to stick to it, this year has definitely not been my best but I am determined to make next year one to remember.
How has your year been?
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Until next time, Abbs xo